


I'm fine (i'm fine i'm fine i'm fine i'm fine)

by Princex_N



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Brainweird, Crying, Emetophobia warning?, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Nausea, Nonbinary Character, Nonbinary Kozume Kenma, Sickfic, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-15
Updated: 2015-12-15
Packaged: 2018-05-06 20:13:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 807
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5429309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Princex_N/pseuds/Princex_N
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>They don't say anything to anyone because they know what the response will be.</i>
  <br/>
  <i>This happens so often that all the adults believe that Kenma is faking it. </i>
  <br/>
  <i>They wish they could be so lucky. </i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm fine (i'm fine i'm fine i'm fine i'm fine)

**Author's Note:**

> hahaha i feel like _shit_ and boy am i tired of it. so i wrote this.  
>  ((also i haven't watched haikyuu in a long time and am only recently in the process of catching up so this is potentially non-canon compliant and also ooc but idk)

They're so tired of this. 

Kenma presses their forehead against the cool surface of their desk and tries to breathe. Tries to ignore the aching nausea that's been curled up in their stomach sine they woke up. It's made worse by the fact that they haven't eaten all day, they had  _tried,_ but every bite and attempt to swallow made their throat spasm involuntarily and their stomach rebel violently, so they gave up after only a couple of attempts.  _  
_

They're used to this. That doesn't make it any easier. 

"Are you alright?" someone asks, Kenma tilts their head to look who it is. They don't know. They probably should, they know that she's in their class, but they don't know her. 

"I'm fine." They say, but they don't pick their head up. They try to ignore the dizziness threatening to overcome them. 

"Tired?" she asks, looking sympathetic. 

They nod against the table and repeats, "I'm fine." 

She leaves but they're still repeating it under their breath, rolling their forehead back against the table to hide their face as they swallow back the urge to start crying. 

_"I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine."_

They pick their head up when the teacher calls their name, not because they're ready to, but because they're worried that if they're forced to stand that that may be the last straw.

They don't say anything to anyone because they know what the response will be. ("You're fine. Stop worrying about it. There's nothing wrong with you.")

This happens so often that all the adults believe that Kenma is faking it. 

They wish they could be so lucky. 

So they pick their head up and display their hands to prove that their PSP isn't hidden under their desk, and they try to ignore the heat of Kuroo's stare behind them. 

-

Kuroo finds them curled up on the floor of a bathroom stall. 

He has the uncanny ability to tell which stall Kenma is in, and he knocks gently on the door and waits. 

Kenma shifts their back off the door and reaches up to unlock it with hands that tremble violently. 

They haven't been sick, yet, but it's gotten to the point where it feels like it'll happen at any moment. 

Their stomach cramps painfully and Kenma can't quite stop a thin whine from escaping at the sensation, eyes clenching tightly shut as their body moves reflexively closer to the toilet just in case. 

But of course, they're not that lucky. 

They could cry from frustration. They have volleyball practice in only a few hours. They won't be able to practice like this, but they don't want to disappoint anyone by missing any more practices. 

They're stuck, and it's so frustrating. It's frustrating how _used_ to this they are. 

Something cool presses against their cheek and Kenma presses their face more firmly against it before opening their eyes to see what it is. 

It's a plastic water bottle, held by Kuroo, whom Kenma had nearly forgotten about. 

They take it and use most of their concentration to just keep it steady (their hands are shaking, they won't stop shaking) and take very small, careful sips. Their head spins and they almost drop it, but Kuroo helps them before the bottle can slip out of their fingers.

"You need to eat something." Kuroo tells them gently, pulling the water bottle away from Kenma's mouth and placing it on the floor next to them, and Kenma's response is choked by a gag at the mere thought of having to eat. Kuroo ignores their pleading gaze and holds out the cracker, unwavering. "You need to eat." He says again. 

Kenma takes one because they know they can't win and they  _try_ to eat it. But their body won't allow them to swallow no matter how many times they try, and finally they simply spit it out into the toilet. Takes another drink of water and spits that out too and tries to ignore the way the sounds of it all makes their stomach turn. 

And then comes the tears. Frustration and pain and exhaustion (They've been up since two in the morning like this. So many days have been spent like this). They try to stop because the lump in their throat and the motions of crying will only make them worse and they know this, but Kuroo takes the water bottle from their hands and doesn't comment on Kenma's failure to accomplish something so menial as eating a cracker (because he's used to this too), and they only cry harder. 

They curl themself against Kuroo's side as they have before and wrap their arms tightly, protectively, around their stomach and cries because they are so, so tired of this, and they're not sure if it's ever going to get better. 

**Author's Note:**

> Some background in case you're wondering what's going on: I don't know what causes it but more days than not I have horrible nausea that refuses to go away no matter what I do. I assume that it's linked to possibly my neurodivergence but I honestly have no idea, but it's really exhausting and boy am I tired of it.


End file.
